Cheer

Well, I thought everyone should know, and be happy, I emailed the cheer coach today asking for information and such about the team. I'll let you guys know what she says!!!

Wish me luck!

BYU

Hey check out what some AWESOME kid decided to show off outside the Cannon Center up here at BYU!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5K1Rb8jubXQ

Alright, time to break the barriers.... LET'S GET PERSONAL!

I know, I know... It's already January 26th and I haven't put anything on here about New Years Resolutions or plans for this semester, or for that matter, anything! As far as you guys know, I have lived in a cave for the past month except for my small excursion to church that contained an incident on some previously mentioned stairs (to hear this story, read the previous post). I've been waiting for the right time to write about my "resolutions" because, frankly, they are the same as everyone else's.
     ~ Do well in school
     ~ Get into shape
     ~ Eat healthy
     ~ Grow spiritually
     ~ etc.....
Of course, these are all great things, and they are my New Years resolutions, but I didn't feel like they were anything special enough to write about. Then I heard something absolutely amazing and a genius idea for a New Years resolution...

Wait for iiiiiittt...  (Name that show!?!)

Get to know who you are as a person. Discover the things you like to do for yourself. Find the real answers to the weird but rather insightful job interview questions and think about why you answered that way. Discover who you are as a person because there is no better time to do so than when you are living away from home and deciding your future. If you know who you are, so many decisions can be made easier.

Now the question is, how the heck do you do that? Well, without really thinking about it, I discovered something very interesting and eye-opening about myself that I guess I knew, but never put words to it. Once I realized this about myself, it explained so much of my behavior and is helping me discover ways to change.

So what did I discover?

I have a fear of failure.

I'm sure all of you who know me and are reading this are like, "DUH! I could have told you that!" Well, to be honest, I never really knew that about myself. I know I am someone who will push myself as far as I can and then go even farther when I want something. I can't stand people who take advantage of the hard work of others without doing anything for themselves. I know that I have also been blessed to be pretty good at the passions I have pursued, for example cheerleading in high school and my classes both in high school and college. However, I never really knew about this fear of mine till my Grandpa told me I had that issue yesterday at lunch. Here's the story...

I was a cheerleader all through high school. I happened to have some good natural talent and after freshman year, I made it to the Varsity team and was on the Competition team Senior year. I absolutely loved it. Cheer was my life. I knew going to college would be a drastic change but the biggest change would be losing my team and the sport ( yes dad, sport) that I had grown to love the past four years. But college is a new chapter. I figured it was time for me to enjoy being on my own, hanging with my friends, taking interesting classes, and discovering my amazing future! Then we had our first football game. Only fellow cheerleaders who were as dedicated as I in high school would truly understand the pain in my chest as I watched the cheerleaders almost more than the football game. They looked so happy and they were having so much fun. I missed (and still miss) cheer. Every single game we went to, the same feelings hit me. I can spot cheerleaders walking around campus not by a bow or the word "cheer" on their backpack, but by their physical build and the shoes they wear (weird right?). But I had already decided I wasn't going to be a college cheerleader! At this point, I am out of shape and haven't done real cheer since last March. I can't try out. That's too humiliating! I will never make the team.

Then I had my talk with my Grandpa. The reason for our lunch outing was that I wanted to borrow The Lord of the Rings movies so my roommates and I could watch them. It's amazing how Lord of the Rings can influence your life! So we were catching up talking about the usual, school, the weather, my ward, etc. Basically, the same four or five questions that everyone asks a new college student. As we ran out of the basic topics to discuss, we somehow got on to the topic of sports and high school or something like that. I honestly don't remember how we got onto the topic of cheer but we did and my Grandpa made a very convincing argument that I should call the coach and ask what it would take for me to have a chance at try outs and that, if possible, I should go for it! I think he could tell that I really missed it. However, I was (and still am) very hesitant about it. Why? Because I'm scared. What am I scared of? Failing. One of the worst feelings a person can have is failure. It takes confidence, effort, and hard work to try to do something. And then to fail? No wonder much of the world remains neutral rather than shoot for excellence. Why try unless your chances of success are strongly in your favor. Of course, I argued against myself by agreeing with my Grandpa and saying "When you don't try to do something, you fail. But when you try, you have a chance at success". Why did I have to say that...? Well, the conversation continued and in the end, I promised that I would look into it and let my Grandpa know how things were going.

So now I'm faced with a tough situation. I'm so scared to fail, in fact, I'm terrified. I don't even want to call the coach and see if there is a chance because if there is no chance, I will feel even worse about my supposed "skills" from high school. On the other hand, I have felt so bad recently. I look in the mirror and don't like what I see. I'm not strong like I once was and I have lost some of the confidence I had Senior year. I can feel that there is something missing from my life. Now it's just up to me to have the courage to try. But can I do it?

Beauty is Painful

I've lived most of my life with a general philosophy when it comes to daily attire and appearance (especially when it is cold out). With seminary, high school, cheer practice, and homework, I was always exhausted in high school and didn't care enough to look like a model everyday. I adopted the philosophy that my true friends will love me for who I am and I shouldn't have to dress up everyday and spend hours getting ready so I can compete with them for the "who is the prettiest" award. If you are truly my friend, I shouldn't have to dress up for you, instead we should be comfortable enough with each other than I can dress comfortably and not feel intimidated. Now of course this doesn't mean I dress like a slob everyday and don't do my hair and makeup. I have higher standards than that. What this means is I dress comfortably and affordably without being excessive or likewise underdressed.

Of course, dressing up is fun to do on occasion for special events like prom or banquets, parties or dates. This last Sunday, I decided I wanted to dress up a little bit and look more professional and college-like than normal for church. I bought some really cute (and expensive) shoes and a new grey pencil skirt and headed to church!

First, I had to tackle the snow/ice. Luckily, we have heated sidewalks so there weren't too many difficulties and I made it to the bottom of freshman hill (from Helaman Halls to the Tanner Building). This hill is absolutely brutal to walk up in heels and mine were rather high. Let's just say, the world looks different from that height. I knew this would be a challenge but I would get through it and make it to the top because gosh dang it! I was beautiful and would make it to church today!!! And I did! I made it to the top of the hill with no problems whatsoever. With just a flight of stairs and a hallway left I had made it. Getting to church was a success!

I then had to handle the two story staircase down to Sunday School and then back up for Relief Society. Luckily, this was no problem for me either. (I was becoming a pro at walking in these shoes!) At the end of Relief Society, I casually walked out of the building and was headed for home. I had lasted all day without any incident, why would happen to me now?

And then it happened...

The stairs out of the building our church is held in are rather small and I was talking with a friend when all the sudden BAM!!! I fell down the stairs.

Actually, it was more slow motion than that. More like "OH MY GOSH IM FALLING SOMEONE CATCH ME... BAM!" I had stepped down with the front of my shoe pretty much off the front of the step and fell forward, stretching my ankle and causing it to swell and bruise and make it almost impossible to walk Sunday night. NOT FUN. It has healed and is mostly just a bruise now that is slightly swollen and hurts when I put my foot to the extreme or rub it with my shoe, but my goodness it really hurt!




But it was totally worth it :D

What happens at the movie theater, stays at the movie theater... Until it gets BLOGGED

You know how all those movies that are chick flicks have cute girl-guy relationships? And the couples always meet each other in the weirdest ways? They run in to each other at the grocery store, one is bold enough to send a note to the other with their number on it, or one of them watches the other while she is sleeping? (Twilight reference in case you missed that). Well today, Emily, Katie and I (my roommates) decided we would go see a movie before class started up again tomorrow. So being the indecisive college students that we are, we waited in line to buy the tickets and on the spot picked a movie. We ended up with three tickets to go see The Darkest Hour (that alien movie where you can't see them and they run on electricity... it was entertaining but kinda cheesy, very typical alien movie). So we go in and sit down and decide we want to watch another movie. So Emily and I are like "We already paid for the ticket lets just use this ticket but watch a different movie." No harm, right? Katie felt unsure so she went to go ask this guy who worked at the theater if we could go into the other movie or if we needed to switch our tickets. He said we needed to switch them out so we walked away and decided to just go back and watch The Darkest Hour.

And then it happened.....

The same worker walks in and hands Katie a little note that has his name and number on it with a buck toothed smiley face and the words "Text me" on it. Uh.... ok?!? So she texts him saying things like "This movie better be good" and "Do you give your number to girls at the movie theater often?" other stuff like that. We start to watch the movie and the texting dies down. Afterwards, the three of us went to go eat ice cream. While there, they exchanged a couple more text messages. She comes to find out that he is sixteen and he thought she was fifteen or sixteen as well.... CRAP!

By the time we made it back to the dorm, Katie was ready to tell him that she was not interested and was much older than him. (eighteen and in college). Let's just say, the end of their conversation was extremely awkward and a bit rude on his part! However, it made for an interesting night! Good to know that sixteen year olds in Utah who are most likely Mormon and have yet to date, are willing to be bold and give their numbers away to strangers!!!